Saturday Night Live Cold Open Parodies Russian Disinformation: ‘American CDC Strongly Recommends Russia Invade Ukraine’

Saturday Night Live addressed the growing presence of Russian troops at the Ukrainian border with a series of jokes parodying Russian disinformation and the U.S. response to it.

The show opened with James Austin Johnson‘s President Joe Biden being briefed on the situation, where he was told, “We’re even getting some reports that Russia has already invaded, but those are from the same people who said Tom Brady retired so take it with a grain of salt.”

“What about the NATO forces? Are they ready to back us up?” Biden asked.

“Every country is sending supplies to Ukraine except Germany,” replied Kenan Thompson. “They’re staying out of it.”

“Oh man, if Germany doesn’t want to go to war, you know it’s bad,” Biden said.

The briefing then turned to the topic of Russian disinformation and propaganda related to Ukraine, with officials pointing out headlines that read “Ukrainian Border Encroaching on Russian Troops,” “Russian Forces Surrounding Ukraine Just to Give It Big Hug,” and “Ukrainian President Horny for Drama, Wants War: ‘Slap Me Harder, Daddy.'”

“I’m going to break my New Year’s resolution and say it: lordy!” Biden responded.

Other forms of disinformation the briefing highlighted included the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommending invading Ukraine, that Neil Young will put his music back on Spotify if Ukraine surrenders, and a dating app for Ukrainian women to meet Russian soldiers at the border.

They told Biden the disinformation came in the form of commercials too, noting a Jake from State Farm-styled commercial with Aaron Rodgers.

In order to fight back against the disinformation, the administration brought in a new Defense Secretary — a junior at a vicious girls high school.

“I think your generation can learn a lot from mine,” she said. “Like, we don’t believe in drone strikes. We believe in breaking down our enemies psychologically. That’s why I’m going to DM Putin and say, ‘Oh my god, I loved your outfit the other day. Was that old Navy?’ Already he’s spiraling. He’s all like, ‘Do they think I’m poor?” In three weeks, he will have completely lost his mind.”

Asked if she had done this before, she replied, “Does the name Giuliani ring a bell?” and displayed the infamous image of Rudy Giuliani‘s hair dye streaming down his face.

Watch above, via SNL