Trump Press Secretary Gives Washington Post Schedule that Includes ‘Ate Some Mike n’ Ikes’ to Prove She Does Something

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Ostensible White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham has yet to hold a press briefing, but she gave The Washington Post’s Erik Wemple a detailed “schedule” to account for the time she spends on the taxpayer dime, and told Wemple she’s a bargain at thrice the price.

Since Grisham took over from Sarah Huckabee Sanders last year, she has held precisely zero briefings, which led Wemple to start writing a regular series on the subject of whatever it is Grisham does do when she’s not on a Fox News hit.

In this week’s edition, Wemple published a list of activities that was provided to him by Grisham, and which all appear to have taken place simultaneously at 7 am on Thursday:

Today:

7 AM: Look ahead phone calls

Morning huddle with team

Individual meetings with team: impeachment, social media, intern program, calendar

TV bookings meeting

Facetimed my son

COS meeting

Digital meeting

Project for FLOTUS

Review of press sec announcements

Emails/text/phone calls w with reporters

Meetings with reporters

Met w POTUS prior to departure

Met w impeachment team

Researched what constitutes a news organization for a reporter

Phone call w little sister

Long term planning meeting for a comms event

Upcoming interview logistics

Ate some Mike n’ Ikes

Meeting w speechwriting

Planning to host my team for lunch tomorrow (pizza) to thank them for the long hours and hard work

Monitored the colossal waste of time that is the impeachment sham

Starting on my 5th cup of coffee because of said monitoring

According to Grisham, though, she’s a bargain for the taxpayer because she has three jobs she barely does:

Grisham has three jobs in the White House: press secretary, communications director and communications director for the first lady. We asked her to identify which duties fell into which baskets. She replied, “It is 100% of my job(s) — plural — period. If you do want some math I can tell you that I do three jobs for 1/3 the salary that it would normally cost taxpayers.”

And can you really put a price on eating Mike ‘n Ikes and making detailed plans to (checks notes) order some pizzas?